Into every life some rain must fall – and this is true when it comes to marriage. There are very few marriages that will not encounter significant challenges during the course of the couple’s relationship – in fact, a trouble-free marriage is almost a mythical beast and for this reason alone, the stigma attached to Winnipeg marriage counselling is rapidly becoming a thing of the past.
So are there common themes that will be addressed by the professional therapist or marriage counselor in order to promote clear lines of communication and conflict resolution between partners?
There appear to be several pieces of advice that the majority of counselors will provide in order to smooth out the bumps that will characterize most marriages.
The first may be counter-intuitive, but is tremendously important. A good spirited argument from time to time may be essential to a happy marriage. A frank exchange of views indicates that each partner is still invested in the relationship. When indifference becomes the norm that is when a marriage is in real trouble. In short – a fight every now and then is the sign of a healthy relationship.
#2 Put Yourselves First.
A healthy marriage will be characterized by a couple that makes decisions together and consults on important decisions. Putting other types of relationships first (children, work, or the extended family) can ruin a relationship. Strong marriages are characterized by a loving, nurturing and consultative norm. Cherishing the opinion of a partner is absolutely vital to the success of a marriage.
#3 Make Every Moment Special.
This doesn’t mean that you have to live the life suggested by the writers of Hallmark cards. A prime example is when a spouse returns from a day at work or from a long day out. Make that hello count. Inquire about their day. Don’t stare vacantly at the television, as they say – ‘it’s the small things that count’. Show some enthusiasm and the rewards will be tangible – starting with a happier and more content significant other.
#4 Politeness Is A Virtue.
There is a saying – ‘familiarity breeds contempt’. After a few years together it’s easy to forget that a simply ‘thank you’ or ‘please’ can be a great indication that you still value a partner. Without these simple indicators, it’s very easy for a partner to begin to feel valueless. If you can exhibit politeness to strangers then you can certainly make the effort for a loved one. It;s easy to simply into the sulks while focusing on what a partner does wrong – politeness is a way of recognizing what they do right.
#5 Ask The Question.
This is probably one of the most key pieces of advice that a marriage counselor will provide. Every now and again a partner should ask the other ‘how do you know I love you’? Listen carefully – it’s the best guide to how you can really make a difference to that marriage. Remember it’s never too late to change your behavior – and you’ll be surprised at the dividends this will pay in making a marriage stronger and more fun than ever before.
Steve Moscovitch Therapy Winnipeg offers local Winnipeg grief counselling services.